Requited love that cuts the head off and watches the body run a muck. a rendering of something much more potent, and too the point. and i'm not wise enough to know if it's love, or just a sample. to smile and want it more, to wish i could all the time. and that the pain i've survived somehow lended itself to helping me learn to smile. i discard nothing, it all remains, and however untouched it always stays fresh.Īnd when sometimes i do something that resembles a smile, i know it only has to do with you. in my head every single thing is forever. You won't stay into night, you say "the afternoon is long enough." i know no length. i knowingly engage in this relationship blindly. the riddle that makes my anxiety is shallow, and i bear it. I consider how badly i'm screwed, then i look at you, and my body becomes graced with a presence you must know so well. The good lord made a mistake making me ever let my eyes set on you. and i'm cooking you shrimp, but when i look down they're sardines, and i'm wondering who is gonna eat that - i wouldn't even let you get a look at them. and when you finally make it i turn on the stove. but those roads they spill and nothing is there to catch them, but they bring you to me. But as I went into the waters of baptism, I really did feel like the happiest girl in the world.I sit and wait for you on the roof top, that way i'll know earlier when you arrive. Shane never did ask me out on a date or even talk to me again. That’s when I decided to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Though she may never know it, her example three years earlier helped me to understand the importance of integrity.Īs I read the scripture in Matthew 7:16 : “Ye shall know them by their fruits,” I thought of Jen and all the other members of the Church who had set good examples for me. I remembered Jen, who I knew was a Latter-day Saint, risking so much to repent, and I finally understood. In fact, I forgot about the incident completely until three years later, when I found myself being taught by the Mormon missionaries. Because she had the courage to admit it, he would only drop her score one letter grade instead of giving her a failing mark.Īt that time in my life, I didn’t think I would ever understand why Jen would risk failing a test just so she could feel better about herself. He told her that he was disappointed in her for cheating and hoped she would never do it again. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and asked her what the teacher said. I just knew I had done something wrong, and I felt so bad I wanted to repent.” “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell on you or Shane. Harrison that she had cheated on the test. “What was that all about?” I asked nonchalantly. Harrison smile and pat Jen on the back as she turned and walked slowly towards me. I wondered what she was talking to him about, and I nervously peered through the door from the hallway trying to read their lips.Īfter a time I saw Mr. When the class was finally over, Jen asked me to wait while she went to talk to Mr. I looked at Jen and could tell she felt the same way. I felt so guilty! I hadn’t expected to feel so awful. Harrison collected the tests, my hands shook as I gave him the papers. I knew that cheating was wrong, but Shane had actually passed me a note! Maybe if I helped him, he would pay more attention to me, or maybe even ask me on a date! My daydreams of dating Shane became more elaborate as I passed back the note with the answers Jen and I had written on the paper.Īs I finished my test, the smell of chalk and pencil lead suddenly seemed to overpower me. Just as they were sweating now, I thought as I took the note back from Jen. Even though I had studied hard, I could feel my palms sweating as Mr. He said that he had, but he was still a little nervous. When we arrived in fifth period math class, Shane, who usually ignored us, started up a conversation. “If he ever gave me the time of day, I would be the happiest girl in the world!” “Try the most gorgeous guy in the entire school!” I said. “Don’t you think Shane is the most gorgeous guy in our math class?” Jen asked me. I thought back to my conversation with Jen that morning as we walked to the end of the street where our bus would pick us up. Shane had taken the opportunity to hand us the paper without getting caught. We were taking a math test, and our teacher had stepped out of the classroom for a moment. I nervously glanced at Jen as she read the words on the paper. The words were scribbled hastily on a wadded-up piece of paper and handed to us by Shane, one of the most popular students in our high school class. Dear Jen * and Kersten: Do you know what the answer to number seven is?”
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